It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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