it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
