ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
