You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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