In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
