Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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