If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
There r osticjed everywhere
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
