Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
where does the pee come out of this thing
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
