dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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