I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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