How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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