he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
