Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
