i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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