On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
