we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
