Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Sponge bath it is.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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