The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
