he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
