that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
