Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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