I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize