Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
