in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
