so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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