Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
