Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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