due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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