Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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