Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
