I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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