I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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