wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I currently don't understand fingers.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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