I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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