Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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