so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
