you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
