You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
