Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
