your parents love me but you hate me
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
worst night to have a conscience
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
