I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
