when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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