I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
