I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
