sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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