Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
