So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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