i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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