i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
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