thus making me awesome and them whores
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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