Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
We left an ass print on the piano.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
