your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
