fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
