the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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