Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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