Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
