She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
