i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
we have pet lesbian snakes
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize