Whod you bang
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
