Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
